On February 4 we began again our visits to communities for work. The first morning, I met Hermana Carmelina (also the mother of my host mom) in Xela to travel to Toj Alik, one of the more remote communities we work with. We took a micro-bus (a.k.a. a 15 passenger van) for about 45 minutes out of the city into more rural farming areas, until they finally dropped us off in the entrance of Toj Alik. We then had to wait there fore 35 minutes for another micro-bus to pass and carry us up to the town.
It´s the dry season, so this time we made the trip (as opposed to November when it was still raining some) the roads weren’t as scary, but the dust on the unpaved road was horrible. You can smell it and it gets in your eyes and ears and your teeth feel gritty. Plus, I was sitting in the back row of a very bouncy micro-bus, so I started to get nauseated, which was only compounded by the presence of a señora beside me with two chickens in her lap who kept freaking out and flapping around (she had them by their feet).
So we finally arrive to the house where the meeting is to be held about 40 minutes late and none of the 35 women in the group are there except the woman who lives in the house. Eventually, 3 more women show up, so we begin the lesson, and a few more trickle in, one leaves, so that by the end of the two-and-a-half-hour course there are 9 women there.
The lesson went ok... I had had this brilliant idea for an activity, though, which totally bombed. The title of the lesson was “Caring for the Earth,” and, to get the women involved (and hopefully force them to participate), I had printed and laminated all these pictures of things in nature... a bee, the sun, a leaf, flowers, etc. Each woman had to say one or two words that described what their picture looked like and a short description of what it does in nature. The point, I thought, was to show how even the smallest parts of nature have a role and are important and everything is connected. (I also had this underlying philsophy that these things are only here to serve us, but they have inherent value in and of themselves, but I wasn’t going to push it). Failure.
They didn’t get it, or were too shy to talk, or something. Two or three talked, but with the others it was like pulling teeth. Just goes to show how little I know about working with the women I’m working with.
Then came my turn to lead the Bible study part of the lesson. We read from from a couple of the Psalms, one being 139, where the psalmist says “Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go to the heavens you are there; if I make my bed in the depths you are there” etc. So then I ask them, “Where is God?”
Now, granted, I don’t speak perfect Spanish, and even when my grammar is correct I have a strong accent. This, plus the fact that about half of the women there understood Spanish (and about half of the ones who understand it actually speak it) meant we were in a tough spot to begin with.
“Where is God?” Dead silence. Again, I ask the question. “In the sky,” one finally answers. “In the church,” says somebody else. That’s it. So we read the verses one more time. Good. God is in the sky and in our churches, but where else does this tell us that God is? “In our hearts.” When I finally said something to the effect that God is everywhere, but that we often espcially encounter God in nature they nodded in agreement (I think), but that was pretty much the end of that.
I know that language is a problem, especially with the Mam groups, because in the Quiché groups Hermana Carmelina can translate if need be (plus people in the Quiché areas tend to have more formal education which is largely done in Spanish so they’re more likely to speak Spanish as close second, if not first, language). But there’s more to it than that. One problem, which I just said, is that they have very little formal education, and many of their churches don’t allow women to really participate, so they have almost no experience speaking in front of a group. This is obvious, because the ones who can read and write (and therefore presumably went to some school) tend to participate more. So self-esteem is an issue in all the activities that affects the level of participation.
But, speficially in the Bible study I was leading that day, issues with the church and the colonization of Guatemala were crystal clear. Traditional Mayan spirituality was very connected to nature and the earth. One had to ask permission from the Creator and a tree before cutting down the tree, for example. During the process of colonization, however, the Church and Christianity were very powerful tools used to suppress traditional customs and beliefs and oppress the Mayan people. (Before I go on, I need to say that a- I don’t think Christianity is horrible, clearly, because I am a Christian, but that it can and has been used in less-than-admirable ways, and b- that every Guatemalan I have met is a very proud Christian, so I don’t think most Guatemalans would say that they wish Christianity hadn’t come to Guatemala).
This tradition of colonialism and Christianity was really apparent in this lesson with the women of Toj Alik, because these women had clearly been taught not only that God is in the church, but that God is definitly not in nature. Well, maybe not these women specifically, but the tradition of the Church here has largely tried to squash traditional Mayan spirituality. Their failure to really be able to say that God is in different parts of nature was evidence to me of a tradition that has fought against beliefs that God can be found in nature, and it isn’t simply that the church doesn’t talk about God being in nature.
So, once again, just when I think I am understading things, just when I am confidently (if not arrogantly) thinking I am competent and able, I get knocked down, and I realize that just because I am more formally educated than most of the people I work and live with does not mean I know the first thing about what I am doing.
No comments:
Post a Comment